Bad Movie Review: For Y’ur Height Only

Do you like James Bond? How about Filipino midgets? Well at some point in the (probably) 80’s someone had the idea of DYNAMICALLY FUSING the two into a movie about a midget referred to as double O (neé 7)

James Bond. Heroes come in ALL shapes and sizes. #bodypositive

I would like to make a small point here. This movie should have been called ‘For your size only’. That would have been a better pun.

The plot is largely generic. Agent double O is a midget who hangs around with a sex trafficked woman and tries to take down some sort of drug lord called Mr Giant who SPOILER ALERT is also a midget. Is midget the correct term? Dunno, I struggle to keep up with the SJWs at the best of times. The references and jokes about his height are kept to a surprisingly tasteful level.

 

uncomfortable sex scene with clumsy metaphors

The good and the bad parts of this movie are one and the same. My first favourite scene was the part where a modern drugs party is raided and all the attendees are wearing vests and smoking joints individually, holding the joints between the thumb and index finger, so you know they aren’t regular old legal cigarettes, dummy.
I kinda zoned out watching this movie, Agent Double O’s impressive Arsenal of ripoff James Bond gadgets got boring due to hammy special effects. There is a lot of action but virtually no blood, due to the films lacklustre budget. There’s a genuinely clever scene where he jumps out a window with an umbrella and safely lands. The movie should have had more of this. If you’re going to make a movie entirely about making fun of someone’s physical characteristics, you’re targeting a pretty niche market, so at least keep it consistent or even the midget haters will leave disappointed. The Wayans brothers have built an entire career with this motive.

 

Whee tiny litte jetpack!

The climax of the movie takes place on ‘Hidden Island’ where all the lame prop guns get replaced by M4s and a bunch of commandos with red berets and pictures of hamburgers on their jumpers roll up out of nowhere and start blasting. The woman gets killed and Mr Giant does too.

 

unnecessary weapons upgrade!

It’s not great. Has moments that are surprisingly well done. The dubbing is also horrible, and it seems like there is no undubbed version.
2/5 stars

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