The Sumbarino Equation

It’s no secret that the creators of this page have been involved in the ‘shit media’ scene for quite some time. Since they were sixteen, in fact. They started out with dodgy videos and music, forged in a shifty ejaculation of teenage fury. This is the story of the Sumbarino Brothers and their dogshit media empire.

Current Status

2006: After initial experiences with soft drugs, alcohol and cheap smokes Pete, Sam and Nathan decide to experiment with a low range video camera, producing a cover version of Danger! High Voltage by Electric Six, much to the embarrassment of their respective parents. The camaraderie in these halcyon days leads to the recording of their first album ‘Enter the Cund’, met with critical revulsion as the content is mainly noise. Inspired by early Sonic Youth, the boys are undeterred and continue to build their media empire.

Best Track: Grease Daddies Pole
2008: in the final years of high school the boys let creativity take a back seat in order to further their alcohol experimentation. Cans of Tennents and pints of nut brown flow like their love for each other. Pete is caught masturbating by his parents and Sam eats nothing but biscuits and becomes fat. Nathan is fine.

 

Where the Magic Happens

2010: Sam 2 joins the mix and allows for production of Men of Gun, an action epic set in the crucible of Sumbarino, the town of Comrie. Assured of their potential for greatness, Nathan sets off a firework to celebrate and burns down two acres of woodland due to an unusually warm summer.

 

Men of Gun Filming ARTISTS IMPRESSION

2012: Space Zombies from Planetoid X is released, the pinnacle of the science fiction genre. The boys propel themselves forwards unto greatness once more. Sam has done some exercise and Pete has stopped jacking off.

Space Zombies from Planetoid X
2015: The band record more together. The latest tracks are a new high for the boys. A producer discovers the 2006 tracks and books the boys a slot at Glastonbury. They flee from stage due to a relentless barrage of pints of piss and a chant of ‘Deadmau5! Deadmau5!’, the following act. The boys eventually take a break to be hipsters and get drunk.

New Track: Cocaine Dean
2016: focusing on film output, the Milkman is made, along with a follow up called Internal Bleeding. The boys have officially dominated the Scottish short film scene.

Short Film: The Milkman
2017: in an ill advised publicity stunt; the boys take part in a timeless event known as Submarino, where a wheely bin is lowered under the water in an area of Comrie known as ‘the rocks’. Sam, the sole occupant dies for a bit as the duct taped wheely bin floods with water while everyone on the surface is enjoying Petes famous Szechuan barbecue ribs and Nathan’s homemade lemonade. With an uncertain future, the remaining boys and a revived Sam take to the studio once again.

Short film: Internal Bleeding

Their Glory Lives Forever

 

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