Fuck you, Theresa May

I think it might be pretty clear from this video that i don’t like Theresa May. I don’t, nor do i like any of the English Tories, but this was only meant to be a joke. I had this footage of the leaders of the political parties on a table football game, and started to think “oh i could do a short funny thing with these and then the punchline would be theresa may fucked up in calling this election” but as i started to write the song it started to get less silly and more angsty. I did a couple rewrites of the lyrics while sitting on the toilet, and that’s where i do my angriest writing. It turned out kind of funny to me, because she seems like such a laughable, fragile figure who also is a dangerous reactionary. The problem with conservatives is that their views on what the right thing to do for society or the country rarely hold up under the pressure of real life situations. I thought the dumbest thing she said in her campaign was about the terror attacks “Enough is enough.” I had this image of all these radicalised terrorists putting their guns and knives away and shrugging because this woman told them to. The reasons for terror attacks are not always clear, but to then blame something huge and free as the internet for the rise in attacks is ridiculous. The current government doesn’t understand the internet, it scares them. But if you were to schedule it like a drug, you’re only going to put everyone at further risk.

I can’t talk about them for too much because i just get angry. I was happy to see Corbyn finally given the praise he has always deserved and overcome the stabs in the back that the Blairites gave him. It’s why labour has made a comeback in Scotland, they don’t support Scottish labour, because they all seem like a bunch of entitled cunts that can’t be told ‘no’, it’s people like Corbyn they like, somebody who isn’t a stuffy little prick looking down at their constituents.

(Isn’t it weird though how specifically scottish labour are more unlikable than the regular brand? Why did it evolve like that? Just before the election nadia met a bunch of them using a conference room at work and they were treating people like they were on the caste system)

Tim Farron, who cares really. He brought Lib Dem back from the brink, and Clegg got ejected. They fucked up though. They really fucked it with that coalition.

Nicola Sturgeon, we love you. I mean, you’re the best. Whenever somebody criticizes the SNP, they are just mad jealous. I think.

The weird one in the bunch is Ruth Davidson, leader of Scottish Conservative. She always seemed like a walking paradox to me, proud LGBT, remain supporter, – is constantly getting these things dangled in front of her like keys. She doesn’t seem bad, but i still don’t get what to be a scottish conservative is about. It means you like the UK, sure. You don’t like independence, okay. But that was their entire platform this election – just “FUCK THE SNP”. I like the SNP, a lot. Sure they’re maybe a little slow on some things, but you can’t blame them, they’re Scottish. They’re just a bunch of dirty urchin children who grew into those suits.

Ruth Davidson doesn’t really have anything that annoys me, but i feel bad for her. It’s like she seems a little powerless through all this and you don’t really ever get to see what she cares about, why she got into it all. She’s the one tory that i still got sympathy for. but at the same time, i don’t understand how anyone can like the Tories without being an insufferable cunt. I’ve still to meet somebody that was conservative that wasn’t deeply unpleasant to be around.

Why Hollywood Won’t Cast Peter Carson Anymore

Not long ago, actor Peter Carson was at the top of his game, acting in multiple movie franchises and starring in his own TV show, but after a series of public outbursts painting him to be an outcast, the powers that be have been considering pulling the plug on his career in Hollywood. Best known for his starring role in ‘The Milkman’ and cult hit ‘Room 836’ Carson captivated audiences with his witty and emotional performances, but recently his career has hit a slump. Here at Bad Talk, we might have found out the answer.


A group of filmmakers have put an open call out to young people across Scotland to get creative and make short films as a way to make their voices heard on Brexit.

Young Filmmakers Glasgow have launched ‘No Frame Is An Island’, a project that consists of 30 second short films submitted by anyone aged 13 to 30. The submitted films are required to have no cuts or editing, consisting of a response to Brexit and a chance for your voice to be heard.

Sean Mcinally, the founder of Young Filmmakers Glasgow feels that doing something creative is the perfect outlet to figure out your identity and help voice a person’s opinions clearly. “It really helps to create. I think when you go to create, or when you have to refine your identity into something like a 30 second short film, it’s forced out of you so it helps a lot.

Last year the collective debuted the First Act Film Festival at the Centre for Contemporary Arts in Glasgow, showcasing some of the best films made by young Scottish people.

“It was our first year, it was great. We went in with it with pretty high ambitions, we wanted to bring in a big guest and we ended up securing Iain Smith who produced Mad Max : Fury Road, and that film had just won 7 Oscars or something. He did a speech that was so inspirational, he had a lot of wisdom about the Scottish film industry.”

No Frame is an Island – Scottish Filmmakers are Reacting to Brexit from Young Filmmakers Glasgow on Vimeo.

This new project is similar to a film festival in that takes these homemade shorts to the big screen, adding a touch of cinematic flair.

“I can’t stress enough how important I think it is to do what we’re trying to do, there’s no better way to get young filmmakers making films than to promise them an audience of people that are gonna watch it, not just online. It’s a cinematic experience, it’s real people in a dark room, which I think is gold for a new filmmaker, especially today.”

This is new ground for the Young Filmmakers Glasgow, who haven’t curated their work with a political agenda in mind so far. “I think people are excited about it because I don’t think filmmakers have had a collective response or movement against Brexit yet, so we’re one of the first groups of filmmakers to tackle it as a whole.”

There is an assumption that most submissions will be from the remain camp, but they hope for the sake of the argument that they will be quite balanced. “Our group has always been very international, so we’ve got a strong European identity. The point is you don’t have to be Scottish, just based in Scotland, because Brexit affects everyone. I don’t think we’re gonna find out what we have until we bring the films together and get around to screening them but it’ll be exciting.”

Part of the group’s manifesto is anti-film school, disregarding the notion that you need to be a film graduate to make a film. ‘No Frame Is An Island’ is refreshing in it’s optimism that anybody can create a film, whether it’s been shot on a high priced film camera or somebody’s mobile phone. The group are hugely ambitious, one of their goals being the creation of Scotland’s first film studio. If they keep coming up with innovative ways to get people into film-making, they might just be the catalyst that Scottish film needs to become truly groundbreaking.

The closing date for submissions is January 31st 2017 and the screening will be held next month at the Gilmore Hill Centre, 9 University Ave, Glasgow on February 26th.

You can get involved with ‘No Frame Is an Island’ at the website youngfilmmakers.scot and check for updates on Facebook and Twitter.


What? You didn’t see ‘The Milkman’? It’s one of the most revolutionary films in history! Recent history, of course. It’s been nearly a year since we set out to make Sam Mackeddie’s first short of 2016 – a series of short films that get worse and worse as the year goes on. However, with aid from Agent Sam Rose, Renaissance man Ray Syed, Playboy Matt Cameron, Primetime player Reetta Tihinen and Pete ‘Milkman’ Carson, there was enough competence from the hungover crew to complete this one and make it look all pretty and emotionally scarring. A year has passed and a lot has changed. We’ve all moved apartments, and lost each others phone numbers. I gained a lot of weight and got fat shamed on twitter. At least we have ‘The Milkman’ to remind us of a simpler time.


Just one last thing before you go out for 2017. Harry Potter is back and bigger than ever, in his debut directors cut edition. That’s right, they’ve started the extended cuts, but only for specific films. This time it’s a new cut of the fourth film, arguably the first one to cut large chunks of the book out of the adaptation. With this latest edition, we will be able to bask in the original’s glory.


Hello, and goodbye. The year is almost over,today being the only day of the year appropriate to say to someone “see you next year.” Isn’t it cheeky? next year is tomorrow! Other days, it sound so far away. Usually I get a bit soppy on new years but I don’t have any excuses to do that this year. Here’s a treat for you Hogmanay gay divorcees out there, a film about the exposure of a corrupt politicians. Riveting.

BAD TALK # 3 & 4

Hey guys

last weeks podcast is  here from dropbox be warned that if you download it’s a hefty wav file. Streaming is fine though mate.

Now for this weeks one, I got this snazzy little dropbox podcast program so i can share my shows a little easier. download the latest via justcast or just stream here. what ever you feel like! it’s an mp3 too so it’s not a pain in the ass.

This episode features magic island, air, mr. oizo and the stooges. Hope you enjoy it all, you princes of Dalry, you kings of Newtongrange.

Bad Talk episode #4



“How are you doing today mate?”

I looked out at the cracked grey ground, swooshing past the window. “I’m okay.” That’s how you get the taxi driver off your back, vague answers that don’t commit. Sometimes you get one that just doesn’t shut up about something you don’t know about and you feel obligated to engage with them. I haven’t slept in over a day, i don’t think anything i have to say will impress him. There are three types of taxi driver, as great musician Jack of Diamonds describes to his audience. The ones that let you have the ride, the ones that chat, and the absolute psychos. Thank fuck for the quiet boys.

He drops me off somewhere in the city centre and I walk around, looking for a Burger King. It’s not cause it’s my go to junk food when hungover, it’s just where I live they don’t have any. The last one burned down and became an Apple store, much to the dismay of cheeseburger lovers everywhere. They’ve got 5 McDonald’s in a 1 mile radius, but not one Burger King. It just almost tastes better than the golden arches of piss that they serve at Mcdo’ – the meat tastes of something instead of rubber. It’s all shit, but I know it, I’ve been on this train for a while now. They get you when you’re kids, all prime and ready for the drunk years where you soak up fear with multiple cheeseburgers. I know this BK is around here somewhere.

Behind me as I try pull up my pants, is a couple of men talking.

“That building there, you know how you see these places your entire life, always thinking about what’s in those walls?”

“The MacDonald suite?”

“Aye, yeah. I was in there on my graduation.”

“What wis it like?”

“It was everything I ever dreamed. We had Prosecco.”

There was a small pause. I looked in the windows of a bar I once visited, spying on the day drinkers. It’s Sunday, 2pm. They’re probably friendly now, but give them a few hours and somebody’s gonna piss off the gin blossomed regulars. The men behind me start talking again, and I realise that they must be a couple. They had that twee, high pitched accent of proud, quiet gays in the city.

“Don’t you think town is a bit dire today?”

“Why’d you think that?”

“I dunno, just feel like it. Maybe it’s not so dire.”

“You said it was.”

“I know, maybe i’m just in a wee mood.”

“Awhy are you in a wee mood then?

“Aw, I dunno. Maybe it’s cause I spent all day in my bed. The day before that too.”

I turn off and walk toward where the burgers may be, thinking that the guy felt the Sunday morning comedown that I feel. Maybe not as extensive as drinking all night in dark corners, but he felt that there was a lingering fog over the town as if it wasn’t as he knew it. Do we all automatically get that vibe from Sundays?

I entered the BK and ordered a couple burgers, sat by the window. I didn’t see anything there – for 10 minutes it was just me and a burger I know is made up from terrible, low quality products but it gave me a little glimmer of sun into this grey afternoon. I leave just as a teenage girl starts singing outside the window, a piercing knife through the ears of hungover parents everywhere.

The hungover dad hates his life. He cannot function without the escapism of drink, only barely able to hold on through the hangover. As i walked towards Queen Street Station, i saw a man with his son. I saw the kid first, whinging about something. I don’t know if it’s a dialect or if it’s just a squeaky kid voice, but i didn’t understand him. He was frantic, tugging at his dad’s coattails, running in circles, whining about something. I walked ahead to see the dad’s reaction. Here was a tall man, wearing some sort of wide brim fedora (but he wasn’t a neckbeard of course, he had a son) and a long trenchcoat. The son got in his way shouting, “I WANT IT” and the dad’s face turned into the saddest, angriest frown I have seen up close for a very long time. He didn’t say anything to his son. He just shoved him away, out of the way where he was trying to walk, so casually that his son must do this quite often. The control of the push signaled to me that he was not abusive towards his son, but it was a shove of necessity. He was so sick and tired of being this kid’s father, getting in his way, hearing him cry in a high pitched whine about minecraft and happy meal toys, one direction and slugterra (i don’t know what 7 year olds are into apart from minecraft, that i know for sure). His life in the central belt of our country is probably quite a safe one, if bleak. They might live in a reasonable suburb and have a nice car, but until that kid stops being an asshole, his depression will never end.

It felt strange, having such empathy for a stranger. You occasionally feel bad for homeless people, the ‘really fucked’ members of society, but only sometimes – because there is many occasions where you find that they can be aggressive or faking it to panhandle some dough. This father and son made me realise that my life, although at times full of frustration, hopelessness and pain, I can do more things that most people ever hope to do in their lifetime. I got back home, I ordered a takeaway, and I watched episodes of freaks and geeks, wishing to myself to have been born in 1960’s Midwestern America.  I live in a bubble of cities, ready to be popped at when i finally look away for a moment and realise i missed the train. You’re all a bunch of cunts, but that doesn’t mean you don’t go through your own fair amount of bullshit. I can hate the world sometimes, but also try and make sense of it in the only way i can, calling anything that slightly grinds my gears a cunt. It’s not hateful or in anyway an attempt to destroy your confidence, i just feel good when i call people cunts, good or bad. This depression will never end for some, but at least i can treat mine while it eats away at my fragile mind.


Bad Talk #1  –  download link  (dropbox)

Bad Talk #2  –  download link (dropbox)

Here it is : two lovely podcasts for you pod people. Two hours of electronic bliss with nostalgia eating away at the fringes. It’s what we live for, the pointless romance of our past and i’m only now starting to get ashamed about it. Should we be ashamed of the shit we used to listen to, or the dirty things we never consider doing anymore? I always had my mind set on crashing parties and passing out in the driveway, but do i feel nostalgic about these fleeting anarchic moments or cringe at the memories of being asked to leave the premises? Perhaps nostalgia has it’s place in music and in movies – let’s not try emulate our garden hopping championship anytime soon.

I think South Park dealt with this quite well in one of their recent episodes with the ‘Member Berries’, Randy discovered a brain numbing patch of plants that can only say “Remember the nineties?” “Yeah, but remember the eighties?” “Yeah, but remember the nineties?” It turns the past-time of remembering fond elements of your past down to a ‘Dude, Where’s My Car’ level of stupidity.

It didn’t use to be so mind numbingly moronic to talk about the past, but it appears in the public consciousness, increasingly and without substance. The internet has been creaming it’s memes about game boys and push pops and the like, stating the obvious to a few generations of people and attempting to alienate…somebody. The old? The young? I wonder why nobody’s made memes like this to appeal to other age demographics?the-burning-monk-1963-1

Sorry if that seems a bit intense, but I love Rage against the Machine. (j/k, This is the photo of Thích Quảng Đức, a monk that protested an oppressive government in Vietnam. An hero.)

 Here’s a more local meme that took the UK by storm.


Bad Talk (1# & 2#) won’t pander to you, too much. It’s like we’ve got a crush on you, but are too afraid to do something that draws attention to ourselves. Except that one time where we got drunk and tried to pull you in the club and now we can’t be in the same room together. Please respond to my texts denise.

Let’s take a moment to never forget 9/11 with some tasty ads

It has been fifteen years since those towers fell, leading the world into a more military minded, conspiracy laden terror aware era. Kind of similar to what happened in the cold war, before 1990. Americans weeped for years, and now on the 15th anniversary, can you remember what it was like or have you forgotten?Have you broken your promise to ‘never forget’? You sick bastard.

These ‘fuckin’ geniuses’ decided it would be a great idea to make an advert where they have a 9/11 sale at their mattress store, jabbing at the sides of the thin ribcage that already is September 11th.

This came from San Antonio in Texas, a place where it’s nearly impossible to gage what they find offensive. Hating Jesus? Offensive. Being gay in public? Probably offensive. Attacks on American Soil? Offensive. But in ‘Jew York City’? Probably not that much. Conspiracy Theories? Probably taught in some Schools as fact. These ‘fuckin’ geniuses’ (my words) have had to shut down their mattress shop probably so it doesn’t get petrol bombed by angry patriots over this weekend. Here’s their apology – futile attempt at saving the business. Rule 1 of offending people : Never apologize.


The ‘9/11 holiday season’ feels almost like the kick off for the holidays in America these days.

September – 9/11 filled goodness, being respectful of those who died, terrorists are scumbags

October – Halloween, lets dress up like sexy Disney characters and get thrown out of nightclubs

November – Thanksgiving. “What the fuck do I have to be thankful for, those fuckin’ floating parade faggots phineas and ferb”

December – Christmas & New Year – I’m so alone.

A big ass, big box store fumbled their shit by making a display of the gleaming towers, out of Coca-Cola company products. Look at it, you got your Dasani in there, a little bit of Sprite, Fanta – the gang’s all here.


This was taken down after spreading on social media. The two corporate giants thought that this was a good way to celebrate 9/11, but no way -it’s gotta go at least 25 years before people don’t care about the cash in on this holiday celebration. It wouldn’t probably be such a big deal if it had some other soda products in there, trying to be all inclusive in the world of captialism. Maybe get some Pepsi, some Irn Bru in the mix (jk) but just put Coke cans up there and people are gonna give you hell for it. These companies are on the edge with 9/11 – here’s a big fucking day in modern history, everybody knows about it and has an emotive reaction to it – so how do we tie it in to marketing our products?

And that’s it, that’s why you see shit like this every year, and not one company has gotten away with it yet. Either people are wising up to the fact they don’t like corporate sponsors on holidays that haven’t been around long enough so the ‘true meaning’ is lost, or it actually still really offends people to hear about it.  Every year though, they’ll try it out on a new ad – “hey we know it’s been 15 years ok, just fuckin let us use it already” and the consensus is always “Too soon, never forget, don’t try next year. Maybe in 2020”

A notable example of when everybody lost their shit over 9/11 advertising was when AT&T used the beacons of light for an ad, on their official twitter.


Within the hour, it was taken down. People were mad, the huffpo article accompianying this image stating

No. Just no.

When this came out, I thought it was hilarious. They’ve been waiting to use these marketing tactics probably since the 1st anniversary of the attacks, and they still don’t know when they can use em. Buzzfeed say that a ballet ad  is the only ad to have ever done it right. If you say so Buzzfeed, since you’re such massive fucking experts on planes crashing into buildings. You’re real fuckin’ industry insiders aren’t you Buzzfeed? You know everything about how people feel about everything. I still say that ballet ad is a fucking travesty and NOBODY should be using the attacks to gain publicity. Those girls in their fuckin’ upper east side $300 a pair shoes, they know EVERYTHING there is to know about 9/11. Buzzfeed and New York City Ballet, take a bow – as the most informed, most reliable sources of information concerning the 9/11 attacks and the tastefulness of advertising. You guys fucking nailed it, tastemaster generals of the fucking planet aren’t you.

So we conclude this years look at 9/11. So far nothing has been able to knock 9/11 off the top spot of ‘tragic days in the 21st century’ but tomorrow is another day. Lest we forget.