What? You didn’t see ‘The Milkman’? It’s one of the most revolutionary films in history! Recent history, of course. It’s been nearly a year since we set out to make Sam Mackeddie’s first short of 2016 – a series of short films that get worse and worse as the year goes on. However, with aid from Agent Sam Rose, Renaissance man Ray Syed, Playboy Matt Cameron, Primetime player Reetta Tihinen and Pete ‘Milkman’ Carson, there was enough competence from the hungover crew to complete this one and make it look all pretty and emotionally scarring. A year has passed and a lot has changed. We’ve all moved apartments, and lost each others phone numbers. I gained a lot of weight and got fat shamed on twitter. At least we have ‘The Milkman’ to remind us of a simpler time.
We all think we understand why we heil Hitler, but do we really know the truth? Here are the top ten reasons Hitler MUST be heiled!
1. Hitler is the best friend.
If you go to a party anytime soon, you better not forget Hitler because your friends will tell wicked lies about you if you do.
2. Hitler is the oldest man alive.
Hitler was born in 1. He is the oldest man. Say heil.
3. He can grow on demand.
Enough said! What a bad lad!
4. Hitler is from Cumberland, the county of malice.
You know it, he knows it, deal.
5. People may call him Hitler, but his real name is Uncle Hit!
He would be real FUHRER-IOUS if you told god!
6. He spent ten years on a sick ship.
Uncle Hit is a sea man. He learned from the best, expects the best, and gives the best.
7. Theres no escape.
Don’t even think about it.
8. He owns all of Germany.
A little known fact, all of Germany is his private property. And he doesn’t owe you a dime!
9. His emotions can be seen.
He can get a little angry, which is kind of a drag when you’re drinking Frappucinos with your buddies, but….
10. We still love him!
Despite these flaws, we do love him and always will. Say heil!