THE BUTCHER

The streets of Glasgow’s west end are full of unbearable hipsters and intense alcoholics. It’s only appropriate that we chose it as the location of our film The Butcher which is about an intolerable douche and his high school chum, who may or may not have homicidal tendencies. It features all the great locations of the city, like Anderston Crane…and the G12 union bar. This one was shot by the great Sam Rose, who is currently working on his pet project Death Police with conspirator Sam Mackeddie. More on that later. For now, enjoy the second part of the “tradesmen” trilogy, produced by the sumbarino brothers and Rose productions.

Why Hollywood Won’t Cast Peter Carson Anymore

Not long ago, actor Peter Carson was at the top of his game, acting in multiple movie franchises and starring in his own TV show, but after a series of public outbursts painting him to be an outcast, the powers that be have been considering pulling the plug on his career in Hollywood. Best known for his starring role in ‘The Milkman’ and cult hit ‘Room 836’ Carson captivated audiences with his witty and emotional performances, but recently his career has hit a slump. Here at Bad Talk, we might have found out the answer.

YOUNG FILMMAKERS GLASGOW CALLING FOR ENTRIES IN BREXIT FILM PROJECT ‘NO FRAME IS AN ISLAND’

A group of filmmakers have put an open call out to young people across Scotland to get creative and make short films as a way to make their voices heard on Brexit.

Young Filmmakers Glasgow have launched ‘No Frame Is An Island’, a project that consists of 30 second short films submitted by anyone aged 13 to 30. The submitted films are required to have no cuts or editing, consisting of a response to Brexit and a chance for your voice to be heard.

Sean Mcinally, the founder of Young Filmmakers Glasgow feels that doing something creative is the perfect outlet to figure out your identity and help voice a person’s opinions clearly. “It really helps to create. I think when you go to create, or when you have to refine your identity into something like a 30 second short film, it’s forced out of you so it helps a lot.

Last year the collective debuted the First Act Film Festival at the Centre for Contemporary Arts in Glasgow, showcasing some of the best films made by young Scottish people.

“It was our first year, it was great. We went in with it with pretty high ambitions, we wanted to bring in a big guest and we ended up securing Iain Smith who produced Mad Max : Fury Road, and that film had just won 7 Oscars or something. He did a speech that was so inspirational, he had a lot of wisdom about the Scottish film industry.”

No Frame is an Island – Scottish Filmmakers are Reacting to Brexit from Young Filmmakers Glasgow on Vimeo.

This new project is similar to a film festival in that takes these homemade shorts to the big screen, adding a touch of cinematic flair.

“I can’t stress enough how important I think it is to do what we’re trying to do, there’s no better way to get young filmmakers making films than to promise them an audience of people that are gonna watch it, not just online. It’s a cinematic experience, it’s real people in a dark room, which I think is gold for a new filmmaker, especially today.”

This is new ground for the Young Filmmakers Glasgow, who haven’t curated their work with a political agenda in mind so far. “I think people are excited about it because I don’t think filmmakers have had a collective response or movement against Brexit yet, so we’re one of the first groups of filmmakers to tackle it as a whole.”

There is an assumption that most submissions will be from the remain camp, but they hope for the sake of the argument that they will be quite balanced. “Our group has always been very international, so we’ve got a strong European identity. The point is you don’t have to be Scottish, just based in Scotland, because Brexit affects everyone. I don’t think we’re gonna find out what we have until we bring the films together and get around to screening them but it’ll be exciting.”

Part of the group’s manifesto is anti-film school, disregarding the notion that you need to be a film graduate to make a film. ‘No Frame Is An Island’ is refreshing in it’s optimism that anybody can create a film, whether it’s been shot on a high priced film camera or somebody’s mobile phone. The group are hugely ambitious, one of their goals being the creation of Scotland’s first film studio. If they keep coming up with innovative ways to get people into film-making, they might just be the catalyst that Scottish film needs to become truly groundbreaking.

The closing date for submissions is January 31st 2017 and the screening will be held next month at the Gilmore Hill Centre, 9 University Ave, Glasgow on February 26th.

You can get involved with ‘No Frame Is an Island’ at the website youngfilmmakers.scot and check for updates on Facebook and Twitter.

THE MILKMAN – FIRST ANNIVERSARY

What? You didn’t see ‘The Milkman’? It’s one of the most revolutionary films in history! Recent history, of course. It’s been nearly a year since we set out to make Sam Mackeddie’s first short of 2016 – a series of short films that get worse and worse as the year goes on. However, with aid from Agent Sam Rose, Renaissance man Ray Syed, Playboy Matt Cameron, Primetime player Reetta Tihinen and Pete ‘Milkman’ Carson, there was enough competence from the hungover crew to complete this one and make it look all pretty and emotionally scarring. A year has passed and a lot has changed. We’ve all moved apartments, and lost each others phone numbers. I gained a lot of weight and got fat shamed on twitter. At least we have ‘The Milkman’ to remind us of a simpler time.

HARRY POTTER RETURNS! (RECUT)

Just one last thing before you go out for 2017. Harry Potter is back and bigger than ever, in his debut directors cut edition. That’s right, they’ve started the extended cuts, but only for specific films. This time it’s a new cut of the fourth film, arguably the first one to cut large chunks of the book out of the adaptation. With this latest edition, we will be able to bask in the original’s glory.

THE INTERVIEW WITH DAVIS DOCHERTY

Hello, and goodbye. The year is almost over,today being the only day of the year appropriate to say to someone “see you next year.” Isn’t it cheeky? next year is tomorrow! Other days, it sound so far away. Usually I get a bit soppy on new years but I don’t have any excuses to do that this year. Here’s a treat for you Hogmanay gay divorcees out there, a film about the exposure of a corrupt politicians. Riveting.

BAD TALK VHS/RADIO

I know, I know, I didn’t use a VHS ‘video toaster’ to make this. It’s a combination of the bad talk radio podcast, with some of my footage accumulated over time that’s taking up HDD space. Thought it might be more useful if i did something with it, I have lots of long shots of the world outside my window which look pretty nice. A kind of lazy music video. You’re pretty lazy yourself.

Note: the latter half of the video has some extra drunk, mega drunk, shakycam shots that i did not screen for quality. Might make you seasick.

ROOM 836 – a Sumbarino short

Although we made it over a month ago now, I neglected to make a post about ROOM 836 because I didn’t want to draw attention to my ‘cumshot’ scene at a time I was being vetted for a political position. Now that I’ve officially been canned for the position of ‘Provost of Edinburgh’, I’ll talk about what the fuck I like. COCK!

I had done a superior version (slightly) but it was forever lost after a sound blip ruined the final scene. I’m happy with 836 though, a concept that Sam M. came up with a couple years back and I tried to adapt to fit the apartment I stay in. I really enjoyed editing it as much as filming it – and I hope that you have fun with it too.

The Sumbarino Equation

It’s no secret that the creators of this page have been involved in the ‘shit media’ scene for quite some time. Since they were sixteen, in fact. They started out with dodgy videos and music, forged in a shifty ejaculation of teenage fury. This is the story of the Sumbarino Brothers and their dogshit media empire.

Current Status

2006: After initial experiences with soft drugs, alcohol and cheap smokes Pete, Sam and Nathan decide to experiment with a low range video camera, producing a cover version of Danger! High Voltage by Electric Six, much to the embarrassment of their respective parents. The camaraderie in these halcyon days leads to the recording of their first album ‘Enter the Cund’, met with critical revulsion as the content is mainly noise. Inspired by early Sonic Youth, the boys are undeterred and continue to build their media empire.

Best Track: Grease Daddies Pole
2008: in the final years of high school the boys let creativity take a back seat in order to further their alcohol experimentation. Cans of Tennents and pints of nut brown flow like their love for each other. Pete is caught masturbating by his parents and Sam eats nothing but biscuits and becomes fat. Nathan is fine.

 

Where the Magic Happens

2010: Sam 2 joins the mix and allows for production of Men of Gun, an action epic set in the crucible of Sumbarino, the town of Comrie. Assured of their potential for greatness, Nathan sets off a firework to celebrate and burns down two acres of woodland due to an unusually warm summer.

 

Men of Gun Filming ARTISTS IMPRESSION

2012: Space Zombies from Planetoid X is released, the pinnacle of the science fiction genre. The boys propel themselves forwards unto greatness once more. Sam has done some exercise and Pete has stopped jacking off.

Space Zombies from Planetoid X
2015: The band record more together. The latest tracks are a new high for the boys. A producer discovers the 2006 tracks and books the boys a slot at Glastonbury. They flee from stage due to a relentless barrage of pints of piss and a chant of ‘Deadmau5! Deadmau5!’, the following act. The boys eventually take a break to be hipsters and get drunk.

New Track: Cocaine Dean
2016: focusing on film output, the Milkman is made, along with a follow up called Internal Bleeding. The boys have officially dominated the Scottish short film scene.

Short Film: The Milkman
2017: in an ill advised publicity stunt; the boys take part in a timeless event known as Submarino, where a wheely bin is lowered under the water in an area of Comrie known as ‘the rocks’. Sam, the sole occupant dies for a bit as the duct taped wheely bin floods with water while everyone on the surface is enjoying Petes famous Szechuan barbecue ribs and Nathan’s homemade lemonade. With an uncertain future, the remaining boys and a revived Sam take to the studio once again.

Short film: Internal Bleeding

Their Glory Lives Forever