YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO マクロスMACROSS 82-99

MACROSS-AMDISCS-1000px

マクロスMACROSS 82-99 is a Vaporwave, Future-Funk artist with tunes that take you to a car driving down imaginary highways into oblivious bliss. There is euphoria in every corner of this funky, sexy music which draws influence from Japanese disco with beautiful engrish, neon covered cities and powerful synths. The pure joy that can come from listening toマクロスMACROSS 82-99 is rivalled only by their other comrades in the future-funk scene, like Yung Bae and Skylar Spence. The latest effort CHAM! is fantastic and is worth a listen from front to back, and is available from Bandcamp to download, but you can catch it here, streamed from good old soundcloud. Put down your full size body pillows and listen in, you lovely people. Your english is good.

 

https://soundcloud.com/macross-82-99/sets/cham-out-now-macross82-99

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THE BEST YOUTUBE VIDEO IN THE UNIVERSE – PETEY GREENE’S WASHINGTON WATERMELON

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“I can’t understand why black people started eating watermelon in the closet”

Petey Greene was a civil rights activist, shock jock, and Emmy award winner, known for being one of Howard Stern’s influences. He got his start in prison radio after being convicted for armed robbery, becoming the most popular disc jockey in jail and getting him out in 1966, where he started broadcasting without bars. His show “Petey Greene’s Washington” was on for 6 years between 1976 to 1982 and became the most popular local cable show in Washington D.C. In this clip, Mr. Greene covers a range of topics, racism, guilt and the right way to eat a watermelon. From what people could say is enforcing a racial stereotype, Greene takes glee in debunking the stigma of being a black man who loves watermelon. It’s just a delicious fruit after all, and he refuses to let the images conjured up by white advertisers get him down. There’s also problems with adding salt, liquor, and other unnecessary ingredients that add nothing to the joy of eating a delicious fruit. Petey Greene shows us that there’s no shame in being who you are, even if you look like you’re enforcing stereotypes. As Freud once said “Sometimes a watermelon, is just a watermelon.”

Bad Movie Review: Robot Jox

Before I start, it is worth mentioning that I would prefer a million times over that an ambitious failure like this movie was made instead of Transformers 9 or another Sharknado. I refuse to watch Sharknado because it’s a ‘so bad it’s good’ film for people who don’t understand bad cinema. For me a ‘so bad it’s good’ film requires one thing the Sharknado family of films doesn’t have and that is unintentional laughs at scenes filmed in sincerity. Robot Jox has this along with some genuinely decent parts.

It is the future and everything is shit. Obviously, the worlds currency is now credits

The story: the year is blablablabla the Cold War didn’t end and war is outlawed. Instead the countries have one on one giant mech fights for territory. Imagine Pacific Rim made in the late 80s and that’s exactly what this movie is. It’s not terrible but still falls short of being good. The plot follows the main hero pilot called Achilles and his nemesis the evil Soviet robot pilot, Alexander. Maybe it’s spelled Aleksandr. Irrelevant anyway.

 

‘Ha ha ha! Fuck you America’

The robot fights are quite cool, done in janky claymation, sometimes with people in front of a green screen so you know the robots are super big. If I was younger and less cynical I would have been captivated by this but when I saw this with friends I was yelling ‘BOOOOO’ at the screen and trying to get a chant of ‘Bad Pacific Rim! Bad Pacific Rim!’ Going but everyone else had fallen asleep.

 

The boring hero of this adventure

This movie is notable because it was directed by Stuart Gordon, who has had a reasonably successful career. He made that movie Fortress I really like about future jail where the cell bars are lasers which got a sequel about space jail. I’ll come back to this another time. Robot Jox could easily have been elevated to great status with a different director. If Paul Verhoeven had taken the helm this would have been perfect. There’s a lot of opportunity for interesting satire that is never capitalised on, instead focusing on a Texan fat guy with a cowboy hat who wheezes out embarrassing one liners.

 

The robots were a bit cool, for me anyway

Favourite scene would have to be the indoor death playground. A subplot in the film is how Achilles is to be replaced by superhuman clone pilots called ‘tubers’ or some such. I think he fucks the main one, can’t actually remember. Anyway to test the tubers to find out which one should be the mech pilot they make them climb up a climbing frame to a hole in the ceiling. First one there wins! Unfortunately there are flashing red lights, an alarm and traps that couldn’t possibly be prepared for like bars that disappear resulting in multiple deaths. It’s as bad as it sounds. And that’s how they find the best tuber.
Entertaining enough. 3/5 stars.

The Best YouTube Video in the Universe: Shitty Romanian Music

Not much info to go on here, I did some googling and can tell you this. The song is about playing the bagpipes and girls coming. It’s Romanian and the guy who made it has a bunch of videos. His name is Sandu Ciorba and this video is fantastic and hypnotic.

FUCK MY

ASS

Crime: A Victims Perspective

I was burgled last week by disgusting criminals. Here’s what I have to say about it.

Crime. The worst thing of all. Crime. Crime isn’t necessarily a naked rapist running at you down an alley with pulsing genitalia, crime can come in many forms, from your house being broken into, to someone looking at you funny in an ATM queue. Crime is everywhere.

I came home yesterday to a shellshocked flatmate, looking at my broken front door with a thousand yard stare. I fell to my knees and whispered ‘tell me the Microsoft surface pro 3 is ok…’ But his grave face and stony silence confirmed the worst. It was gone. Along with my sick magnetic keyboard.

 

CRIME

I walked through those halls as I had a thousand times previously. But they had been changed, sodomised by crimes filthy penis. Defiled. By crime. When crime breaks into your house it touches everything. Even your freezer. This was evidenced by frozen chicken nuggets being scattered across the floor. For the second time in five minutes, I fell to my knees. And wept.

 

ILLEGAL

I wiped the tears from my eyes and crushed some chicken nuggets in my dramatically clenched fist. With every crime, must come justice. Unfortunately the junkie thieves were not still on my property to taste my breadcrumbed fist, so justice on this occasion will have to be getting drunk on cheap beer while the locksmith fixes my door and claiming insurance for my tablet. Crime has me beat this time. But next time, I’ll be ready. With a remote control car with a gun sellotaped to it or something.

Bad Movie Review: For Y’ur Height Only

Do you like James Bond? How about Filipino midgets? Well at some point in the (probably) 80’s someone had the idea of DYNAMICALLY FUSING the two into a movie about a midget referred to as double O (neé 7)

James Bond. Heroes come in ALL shapes and sizes. #bodypositive

I would like to make a small point here. This movie should have been called ‘For your size only’. That would have been a better pun.

The plot is largely generic. Agent double O is a midget who hangs around with a sex trafficked woman and tries to take down some sort of drug lord called Mr Giant who SPOILER ALERT is also a midget. Is midget the correct term? Dunno, I struggle to keep up with the SJWs at the best of times. The references and jokes about his height are kept to a surprisingly tasteful level.

 

uncomfortable sex scene with clumsy metaphors

The good and the bad parts of this movie are one and the same. My first favourite scene was the part where a modern drugs party is raided and all the attendees are wearing vests and smoking joints individually, holding the joints between the thumb and index finger, so you know they aren’t regular old legal cigarettes, dummy.
I kinda zoned out watching this movie, Agent Double O’s impressive Arsenal of ripoff James Bond gadgets got boring due to hammy special effects. There is a lot of action but virtually no blood, due to the films lacklustre budget. There’s a genuinely clever scene where he jumps out a window with an umbrella and safely lands. The movie should have had more of this. If you’re going to make a movie entirely about making fun of someone’s physical characteristics, you’re targeting a pretty niche market, so at least keep it consistent or even the midget haters will leave disappointed. The Wayans brothers have built an entire career with this motive.

 

Whee tiny litte jetpack!

The climax of the movie takes place on ‘Hidden Island’ where all the lame prop guns get replaced by M4s and a bunch of commandos with red berets and pictures of hamburgers on their jumpers roll up out of nowhere and start blasting. The woman gets killed and Mr Giant does too.

 

unnecessary weapons upgrade!

It’s not great. Has moments that are surprisingly well done. The dubbing is also horrible, and it seems like there is no undubbed version.
2/5 stars

Movies are too serious for their own good

The film industry is stuck in a quagmire of ‘dark reboots’ and superhero films and mainly a combination of the two. I’m sick of it. I hate going to see heroes (but they’re flawed heroes remember!) growl at each other before sending their foes to bloodless PG-13 deaths. I don’t go to the cinema to be reminded that the world is a miserable place where people pay taxes and get raped, I go to the cinema to be excited and enjoy myself. Even the films I like that I see nowadays don’t make me walk out the movies feeling like I had a good time.

Dont care. You shouldnt either

Starship Troopers did. If you haven’t seen it you should. Needlessly violent, funny, self aware and exciting. Short summary: future nazis bombard kids with propaganda for army. Kids join army and fight hideous spider aliens that bite people in half. Bad acting and ridiculous gore throughout. It works on so many levels. It’s an engaging action movie, it has fairly well thought out satirical elements about propaganda and unquestioningly serving your nations interests. Sound a little dark? Not really, it’s mainly shot at daytime with a cheerful colour palette. Contrasted with the fascistic nature of the society depicted and insane violence this gives the film a weird vibe, but a completely engaging and never depressing one.

 

Fuck yesssssssssss!!!

More movies should learn from this. You can carry a serious message with levity. In fact, most of the director Paul Verhoevens other films also do this. Robocop for example. I’m just sick of watching another Batman clone where everything is a shade of dark blue or orange and muscular (though never comically so) heroes talk tough at each other and deliver lines about things and oh I don’t care.

 

Funny!

Go watch Starship Troopers and be inspired to make something fun please Hollywood. Comedy and SERIOUS STORIES are not mutually exclusive. Experiment more!

 

best movie

 

March Mix for Bad Talk x Impulse

Get your brand awareness on. We here at Bad Talk have made a mix for our good friends at Impulse Magazine, a youthful, colourful rag about what it means to be a stylish person who is well informed and loves all of god’s creatures. It’s a entry level guide to Vaporwave, the internet’s hottest and slowest micro-genre. Big fans of the musical movement, we were surprised to hear that nobody we worked with at Impulse had any idea of what it was about, so we dropped them this mix, and now we’re dropping it here. Dropping bombs all over the place.

Relax while you fall down the rabbit hole of stolen synths, sincere voices, chip-tune bliss and funk.

WII SHOP REMIX by Nicky Flowers

YUNG BAE – YOUR LOVE IS GOOD

VAPORWAVE – Zuntyh

Loving is easy – death’s dynamic shroud.wmv

Milky Runners -リサフランク420 / 現代のコンピュー Macintosh Plus (8-bit RMX) .mp3

digital リラックス

Kid Yumi キッドテオ – Places that are far

MØ – Don’t Wanna Dance (Phazz Edition)

Skylar Spence – Tell me

Eliot the French Kid – Go On ダーリン

悲しい ANDROID – APARTMENT Modjo – Lady ( 悲しい ANDROID – APARTMENT Remix )

Bl00dwave – In love with U

コンシャスTHOUGHTS – Smooth Groove

Sebastian Tellier & A-Trak – Kilometer

/r/The_Donald – Genuine support forum or super meta 4Chan joke?

A rare donald appeared!
A rare Donald appeared!

The internet is at war with itself over the current political climate in the U.S, as the left and right shout down at each other, with neither listening to the opposite opinions. We just had to look up what SJW’s meant (Social Justice Warrior) which is alarming, as the rhetoric descends into a whirlpool of insults and accusations of racism,both left wing commentators using “Bernie Bots” to discredit followers of the Kind old Grandpa of the race, Bernie Sanders.

Trump has divided a nation and split the GOP, but it doesn’t mean anything when you can still make fun of the man on the internet on special place called 4Chan. The channers have been long supporting Trump on /pol/, the politics messageboard, and were ironically supporting him by crafting memes and support messages (Coining “Can’t stump the Trump!”), so much that Trump late last year sent them a Thumbs up for helping fight the good fight. Where to go next? 4Chan’s uptight younger brother, Reddit. While there is already a couple subreddits claiming to be the ‘official’ Trump domain such as /r/donaldtrump it lacks the huge surge in popularity  /r/The_Donald has been receiving over the past month, with over 90,000 subscribers.

rasv

Reddit is generally quite a liberal community, and when a right-wing sub gains traction, it’s hard not to be suspicious. The_Donald fits right into that category, which features some content that looks as though it’s pushing the agenda, and then a bizarre range of memes, ranging from ‘Fake-out’ quotes (“Barack Obama said that about Muslims?) to ‘Rare Donalds’ which are special Pokemon cardesque versions of the trumpster. Users of the forum are called ‘Centipedes’ and enemies are ‘cuckservatives’. The whole faux supporting Trump thing started off as a joke, but the offical Trump campaign has shared videos from The_Donald, and it has become one of reddit’s most viewed pages, with 52 Million views last month. The official Trump supporters are Furious, and can barely see the thing as a joke.

With 4chan trolls and with abusive moderators, our subreddit offers a clean alternative for those who want to maturely and appropriately discuss Donald Trump’s run for president.

We will be revamping some of this subreddit and how we operate in the coming days, but this is just an example of how bad the other Trump subreddit is becoming with abusive hypocritical moderators at the helm. It’s kind of like/r/VoteTrumpYouLoser!

Let’s Make America Great Again TOGETHER, not with tons of bans!

The opposing 4Chan reddit has responded to this earnest post with typical, good old fashioned trolling.

a small loan of a million trolls

It’s at a political balance that cancels itself out. Make a fake subreddit pretending to support the big guy, piss off all his supporters in the process. By doing this you bring a bit of levity to the whole political debate, in a time where everyone is down each others throats. At least this is a joke, and a funny one at that. It’s trolling for Trump, where everyone is probably of a liberal persuasion, but is sick of all the drama surrounding this year’s election. The constant bickering and protests and clashing – it’s headache inducing. So why not sit back and relax and look at some rare Donalds?

Rare Donald, date Unknown.
Rare Donald, date Unknown.

A review of “Bandit Promotions – Blackmail lettering” at Studio 24

This was posted on a previous blog on 4/8/14, two years ago today.street finn

I actually spent TWO days exploring the local music scene, not through my own choice but through the coaxing of my friends. On Friday, an impromptu drinking session my friend dragged me out to Henry’s Cellar Bar down by Lothian road, where a promise of cheap entry was quashed after finding a new Belgian kid working the door. We went in only to find out the band had two songs left which pissed me off but the bar staff were sound enough so I kicked around and had a drink. The kid told me that what i’d paid would get me on to the club night later on, which i also went to but got so bored i left twice in the middle to get something to eat. I left first to get a greasy kebab from Samsun’s where i had not ventured for over a year. When i came back, Sandra told me I stunk of onions so i told her that’s just all i had. The night dragged it’s heels further, and i again found myself in limbo – not drunk enough to enjoy the tech house, yet i didn’t feel like another Red Stripe. I left again without telling anyone and found myself at Mcdonalds eating everything you can get there for £4.49.

The taxi home was expensive and depressing, as i wiped the special sauce off my mouth an intense shame spread from my stomach through my body. I couldn’t face my friends or the rain, It’d been a long but forgettable day. I think in the morning me and Sandra went for lunch, and the both of us being cheapskate bastards forwent any nice cafe meals or sandwiches and found ourselves at KFC. It was cheap, and it was chicken. I felt shame once again. Not for having the chain of my meals go from Kebab – Big Mac – Pulled Chicken, (Amelia Bayler would be proud!) but because i laughed and a bubble of snot came out my left nostril. Sandra was noticeably enraged and disgusted by my actions, i hope the old ladies sitting across from us weren’t too horrified at seeing pure bred bubble action.

We went to the museum out of boredom and when leaving received a call from my cousin telling me “I’m on my way, we’re doing something tonight right? We’re going to a gig now!” I hastily got my shit together, purchased a road beer and met him at my flat. My roommate came along when he said it was a Psycho-billy gig and off we went to Studio 24. On the way we looked at the “Legal graffiti wall” which looked beautiful. There was some lads there at the time signing off on a few pieces which we all were impressed with, and a motorbike popped a wheelie up the road as we walked into the tunnel. I kept telling my cousin “ooh this is the bad part of town” which he got angry at seeing as i’d never been to this side of the burgh.

The drummer of the band we were there to see came and gave us cheaper entry which was nice and gave us tickets with the band names on it, which is the only way i was able to remember any details of the gig whatsoever. I’m usually intimidated by most bouncers but these ones seemed real cheery and were just arguing about what Chinese food they wanted to order. As you walk in you see exactly what Studio 24 is attempting to go for as their ‘look’ inside the club. A dirty grimy punk club from the eighties, except it works. For whatever reason the fact you can’t see 4 feet in front of you in the hallway is quite appealing to me. I walked inside got what i pretty much expected from the crowd, a mixture of crusty punk mums and dads, barely legal scene kids and metalheads and definitely not legal emos and kids wearing badges and ties. I looked past the bar and it said “This is an over 14’s gig – only one drink is able to be purchased at a time.” Quite a good strategy for not selling underagers? But i doubt it works completely. I went to buy a Red Stripe but the bartender offered to give me it for a “low low price” if i gave him my hat to take a photo of, which i sucked up my pride and did. This hat in particular was the ‘SLUTS’ cap, which was perfect for blending in to this crowd of pink haired nosering flickin’ teens. He made a bearded guy wear it who didn’t look too happy about it.

The first band, ‘The Phlgem’ had a particularly good repertoire of old punk and new wave songs, but it was hard to tell if they had mixed in their original material. It’s probably better to announce when it is your own song when starting with 3 or 4 covers. They were Ok, the drummer was great, but the guitarist and bassist couldn’t really sing. They could certainly scream, which reminded me of the old days where i would proclaim “I’m not this band’s singer, i’m it’s shouter” in bands back home. The singing didn’t sound good. They even brought ‘Steve’s Cousin, Wee Hannah’ on to sing the chorus in one of their songs who looked so racked with nerves that her performance was all warbly. The notable thing about the band was their use of feedback. The guitarist fucked about with his cable and his guitar so much you didn’t really know if the feedback was intentional in creating a raw sound for the performance, or his guitar and amp were just plain broke. Either way, it’s probably OK to have shitty amounts of feedback swirl behind you if you’re trying to emulate punk.

We went out for a cigarette. Me and my roommate talked about the band and the atmosphere and decided we’d stay to see most of the gig. These teens not a lot younger than me came out and started whinging “Ugh it’s full of fuckin’ kids in there” and i would look at them and think, “you are kids.” This chubby guy with curly hair came out and started talking mosh pit tactics with his mates and then was left on his own. He said to us “Aw thank god am not the oldest person here anymore!” to which we cringed. He was near our age but probably not mentally.
He started to ask us if we were going to opium later for the after party, which we weren’t. He also asked us if we were going to go see a bunch of random thrash bands in the coming weeks, to which we declined. He had tapped out, and asked “What are you doing here then?” I shrugged and told him we knew the drummer, which we really didn’t. At this point the balder of the bouncers piped up and said to us “Steven there’s a drummer, aren’t you Steve?” to which we all said nothing, but smiled anyway to appease his awkward chat. Steve asked the other bouncer if he was gonna eat his rice.

The second band confirmed my feelings about the crowd, a lot of scene kids and punks who have being doing this since they WERE actively going to over 14’s gigs and having nothing else to do on a Saturday night. The band, Two Step Theatrics looked as though they had a bit of a following, and the “followers” started a mosh pit which resulted in an awkward circle in the middle of the room. If you didn’t want to participate in getting shirtless and smashing your peers to the ground, you had to stand aside.

The band were actually very talented, and had a decent amount of original material which we liked, and they had a fat guy singer which kinda relates to me when i see them, i always considered myself a fat guy singer. He had great stage presence and joked easily about their performance, and was able to switch into a smoother piano led track straight after asking to audience to form a “wall of death”. After the second song, he instigated a ‘wall of death’ which is separating both sides of the mosh pit and smashing them together to cause mayhem. The moshing which was led by the curly headed bro we met outside and a long haired greek guy wearing an extensive sleeve of anarchy badges. There was also a lone black kid who seemed to be really into it, it started to make me think that he was the only black kid in Edinburgh’s moshing scene. How lonely, maybe someday he’ll find another scene that’s way cooler, rather than hang out with metalheads who shove the girls they like into the circle. The sexual tension in some of these male to female encounters i saw was brutal. The desperate look on most guys faces and the longing glances from the blue haired snakebite girls, It reminded me of being a hopelessly in love teenager and only being in my early twenties, it also made me feel old.

The third act, was a girl singing one Jason Mraz song. I initially thought it would be a girl band after glimpsing her backstage but no, just one Mrazzy tune on the acoustic. Her name was Kayleigh Turnbull i think, depending on which girl is featured on the ticket. The girl had stage fright and looked away halfway thru the first verse so me and my roommate called her on(as well as a rowdy older crowd who sounded like pedophiles, shouting “come on Kayleigh, yeah. Kayleigh get it done girl”). She had the whole crowd cheering for her at the halfway point, even me, being sincere as i could be. It was quite funny seeing a nervous teenager coming on after a band that convinced the crowd to beat the shit out of each other, so out of place. But you don’t get to see those nerves often and that’s why she was my favourite, because of the connection she made with people. If it was a 16 year old nerve racked Peter Carson singing “I’m yours” i doubt they would have cared that much.

The last band played mostly covers and had an adept couple tunes, the main thing that stuck out about AMi was that their singer sounded very similar to the one from Wolfmother. They didn’t shy away from this, blasting out “Woman” for their opening song and closing with “Joker”. They had a great repore with each other, and nobody was trying to lord anything over anyone – they seemed to be old friends that were making good music together. We danced the most to their tunes, and cheered when they told the stagehands to fuck off cause they weren’t done yet. It was better than the previous two put together, and as the house lights turned on to kick us out at barely 10:30 i felt i’d got my money’s worth. The last band did have a lasting effect i suppose, as for the past few days after i listened to a Wolfmother album. You always forget these bands until you go out and get drunk and somebody convinces you to remember them.

All and all I kinda enjoyed the whole shebang. Sure i might have some differences or issues when it comes people active in the rock scene, where i have devolved into a guy who’ll listen to anything if it’s good. These people have their genres, they stick to em, and they enjoy it. What’s not to like? As we left i heard one of the pink haired girls on the phone asking to buy a pill off her mate, so at least these kids aren’t straight edge or nothin’, as long as they are taking casual drugs i feel that they might be an interesting crowd to revisit. I give the experience a on the spot rating – Three dyed heads out of 5.

But it doesn’t stop there, these adventures keep on going and going! My roommate was getting a lift with one of the bands so we made a swift exit with them. The night had just begun for me and we went off to find some other places to haunt, my roommate went to a deaf comedy jam – and i went to harass the Italians on Robertson’s Close who were going out somewhere close. I walked round the cowgate for a while until i met somebody to ask what the crack was, both girls were p.ring and only one had time to speak to me. Venturing south i met David and Gregor playing Jenga in the Monkey Cellar with two attractive weegies that lived in Dundee. We fucked about having a couple drinks before going to a party which took us a while to find, and full of quite drunk girls talking about somebody’s birthday and MDMA. I told a few people about the gig when my chat to the strangers ran out, which gave everyone (including myself) a chance to “laugh at somebody different!”There was a fair share of idiots there, including an Essex boy who appeared to be the stupidest person everyone had ever met. He wasn’t mean or a dick, he just wasn’t all there if you know what i mean. Without any booze i managed to tolerate everything till 6 in the morning, where i left to go to some other guys house…why didn’t i just go home there and then?

8am i walked into a Tesco i’d never seen before and bought a meal deal. Eating the whole thing on the walk i observed the colour of the sky and the attitude of the church goers. “Maybe i should go to church someday?” I thought. I always tell people i’m gonna. Just to tell the morally sound people they are doing a great job.
With my last breath i whispered “Christ..” as i slunk into my unmade bed, where i would sleep for a hundred years….